Writing and decorating days

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There has been no single day in this week when i did not think of writing on my blog. But the schedule has been busy. Even today throughout the morning I was busy correcting papers, writing marks, packing my bags and then i listened to some good songs before finally coming to this part of the day. The previous week I went with my colleagues to a new place near Dak Khana. Earlier Hanuman tauriya was my favourite landscape here in Chhatarpur but since the day i had visited this new place, my favourite landscape has changed. Basically it is a small lake and is perfect if one goes alone. The beauty of the place was so perfect with the birds, the water body and the peace and since it was all dark by the time we reached that place, it looked lovlier. The peace of the place further guaranteed me that my decisions about people in my life had been correct so far and that even if sometimes we do miss a person, it is better to not have them back. And about things, well then, let me share a few important things. This week there was a competition held in our school for Mother's day. Though the day is on the 12th of the coming month but due to the summer vacations that we will have during that time, our school decided to have it beforehand. Basically all students were given colourful papers and they had to write a letter to their mother. I was reminded of my school days and how very much i loved receiving and writing letters though the former situation has been more in my life. It is still one of the best things that i like. Receiving letters fascinates me and it does so more when the one sending the letter has an anonymous identity. I know i sound like old school but that is the stuff i am made up of. Now a days people simply text or mail but lucky are those people who still get letters, handwritten ones. Ain't it lovely? And i so doubt about me receiving one ever in the future. Those days are gone. And i miss them and want them back. My fifth standard students were telling me stories that other day and i hugged them all. They are so innocent and so full of the grace of the almighty. May they all remain like that forever. This school has been a hell of a journey so far and has changed me beyond a certain degree when it comes to my work. It has been hard on me but i walked ''straight through hell with a smile.'' And i am still doing that. There are often days in the week when i feel like i am crashing down while I am teaching but somehow i go on. Days when the staff stays back after the dispersal of the students i usually alienate myself inside my classroom to work better, to focus more. The staff room atmosphere feels horrible with all the gossips all the time. I wonder how are people able to do such rubbish talks for so long hours. Coming back to home at 3.30 pm feels like a relief.The small space of my room feels good and comforting and free from everything else that i don't want to come across. It feels good to text friends, read books and work on things that i am so serious about. Some people told me yesterday '' Kamalika you are cold. We have never seen you like this before. '' Well that is the deal. People go by my face. They think i am soft hearted, they think everything that i am not. But trust me folks i have been cold for most of my life. The cheerfulness is just one more trick for survival. I don't easily forget and forgive. I hate people with low moral standards and I usually maintain distance from them or bluntly tell them on their face what they deserve to hear. I do not do a favour on anyone by talking with them. I talk when i want to and like to. Everyone does that. But the only difference between everyone and me is that i mean things that i do. I think that is why you should rather call me a woman of integrity than telling me ''oh! you are cold.'' I have got some other fresh work to do. A single 'ping' in my phone reminded me of that. The next time i write i shall be in Kolkata. So, meet you people soon.Till then keep living and keep enjoying and most importantly have faith in God.

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