Kadambari Devi's Suicide note

A few days back i finished reading 'Kadambari Devi's Suicide note',by Ranjan Banerjee and though it struck odd notes in many places(my opinion),it definitely falls into the category of the must read books,especially if you want to explore Tagore's world.Most intellectuals or want to be intellectuals, appreciate Tagore for his modern outlook,but appreciating the modern aspects of a character or mind is vastly different from experiencing it first hand,and the process can be painful,like a morbid pleasure,it can be so addictive,that one does not want to come out of it, rather can't come out of it.This is exactly what happened with Kadambari Devi.A dilemma she was in because she was sapiosexual and was in love with her husband's brother,ROBI(Rabindranath Tagore).She was an exceptional talent but failed to realize it not just because of the environment that surrounded her but also because she loved Tagore with all her dreams and not just her life.An exceptionally unconventional and modern love story,almost a reiteration of the epic love chemistry of Lord Krishna and Radha.But there is something more to it and that additional element is time and the last writing piece of Kadambari Devi has connected readers to this book for some time now.I,as a reader felt very nostalgic about it,because i almost felt that i was sitting beside Kadambari Devi all the time,in her last two days when she was writing her suicide note.I was like a spirit from the future,that sat beside her when she kept on writing,oblivious to my spirit and oblivious to the spirits of all those readers who have found a link with her and her last writing.Vedas and other religious scriptures and books claim,'Atyahata mahapap,noroke gomon'(Killing oneself is the biggest sin,it takes you to hell),but tell me what would a woman like her do?A woman who was good,but was always made to feel sinful,a woman who was literate in the truest sense,but never got the desired recognition,a woman who was neglected by her sterile husband,a woman who had the audacity to love in an unconventional and unconditional way,only to meet nothing in the end,a woman who lost herself in the humdrums of life,a woman who wanted to live for love,the love that was denied to her and then can we still blame her for ingesting opium in too large a quantity,that proved lethal for her?Can we still comment on this woman as a suicidal maniac?Can we not for a moment,think of the immense pressure and sadness she has been through all her life because, life denied her the permanence of happiness.Why not try and consider her to be a brave woman who took the adamant decision of taking her own life slowly and painfully,because it became really difficult for a courageous woman to accept the fact,that most people treated her as an outcast and the 'adhunikota'(modernity),of her partner made her feel like one with the crowd,after all we all want to be the one in a million,for our lovers.Great people like Tagore did try to find variety in their lives by getting involved with many people,but another sign of being great is to find variety in the one person you love.Not that i don't love your writings but would you call yourself a murderer,if you were alive, ROBI?