Stress is no joke

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I just heard some boys in a computer cafe claim that,' stress?woh kya hota hai?Bahut hi filmy hai.(Stress,what is that?It is too filmy).I gave them a cold stare and they giggled obviously because they thought i am some junior trying to act strange with them.I regret that i did not get that courage to tell them,then and there that it's not at all dramatic but it is dangerous and depressing.Stress is not what one feels when one knows that the exams are approaching or what one feels after a breakup.Stress is something that pops up in your life,even at times,when your life is at complete peace.It might obviously occur during serious misfortunes but sometimes it doesn't even need that ground to showcase itself.All that one can feel is a pain of choking inside the throat,near the chest that pulls one down even if one tries hard to come up.The brain is all jammed and one cannot think of functioning properly because one cannot think clearly in the first place.No matter how hard one tries,one feels chained by this feeling of stress that can cause acute depression and give one sleepless nights accompanied by unnecessary thoughts.And it does not mean one is weak.Researches show it usually happen to people who have fought enough against all odds-it can be a disastrous financial failure or a,business failure or the death of close people or some drastic change in life,some sort of a shock.Swallowing stress is not easy.I have been a victim.I am still one.People question about my health,dark circles and what not?I don't feel like illustrating them all,why and how things are like this with me because i hardly expect anyone to understand my situation,what i but expect is sheer jeering and endless gossips.I am proud of myself-everyday has been a fight and i will till the end.One reason,that i don't believe in God neither do i expect any miracle in the future.I know it has been me fighting throughout and it will always be me.I don't have enough courage either,because i do break down,i do cry and i do everything possible to get me out of my low feelings.I refuse to meet a counselor,because i know it would mean just a waste of money,when they will say me things i already know and that will just be an additional burden of interference.My mother helps me fight and is supportive but i don't want to be the reason of her worries all the time,she already has a lot of things to think about.So when i see people pretending of their stress to get attention,it not only get on my nerves but i feel jealous of them,i feel like punching holes on their faces if not more.To live with this feeling is not easy.I just hope someday i am able to smile and not pretend that i am smiling and feel no choking inside me to remind me of my stress.

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