Meditation is not me

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I did not go to college today and hence i had enough time to work on things i usually don't pay attention to,except on Sundays.So i washed my clothes,cleaned my comb and bed and my present study table.Living in a hostel and then doing all these things along with maintaining one's regular schedule becomes difficult.Now that many people counsel me to actually go for meditation classes,i just thought of trying it on my own today and i have realized that it can become productive only when one does it seriously,not that i did not try to be serious because my endeavor was quite serious.I tried my best to think of nothing but as one may analyze,one is still thinking when one is thinking of nothing.So i put in all my best efforts to think of nothing,and i was thinking of nothing and that did not help.I am an impatient person as well and i did not feel like something of immediate good nature was happening to me.I know it takes time,but how long do i wait?And another thing was i did not know for how long was i suppose to meditate,if for thirty hours and if i am doing a serious meditation,then how will i know that thirty minutes is over.An alarm might be of help but again if i am concentrating on my alarm ring,i am definitely not concentrating on my meditation-it becomes unproductive again and instead of calming my mind and providing my soul with immense energy,the process actually frustrates me and unrests me,right in the beginning of the day.So if i ever find myself blessed with the calibre of meditating in this modern generation,i will,with more enthusiasm write down about my divine cosmic experience and hope i get to see such a day soon or later.Amen.

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