Waking up
Wish i could only know the beginnings after the ending of most of my favourite movies and novels. As a reader i have my own theories and versions but I often wonder about the creator's perspective. Did the characters struggle again? If they did why? How did they handle it? Was it necessary for them to do so? What were the other options they had? I guess we will never know. This was the first thought that came to my mind and hence I wrote it down. There are a few other things that i want to share.
Now what exactly brings me back to my blog? A normal conversation with one of the students of class ten. And as i went along with the conversation i felt that only if our school had a counselling cell for both the students and the teachers. Anyway. Let us get on then. The peace of the surroundings prevail but there is restlessness inside the mind as always. Every night i go to sleep, the thought that I WILL DIE SOMEDAY comes to me. We do so many things but all of it is temporary. Surviving is important but why? Can't we just stop the thinking, the pain, the struggles- just everything. All of it is supposed to end anyway, is not it? I am spiritually thirsty. I am tired. And it is not the kind of tired that we can get rid off. It is curiosity and the death of it at the same time. It is a painful awareness of situations i cannot alter. It is about people who are not understanding and co-operative. It is about God who never answers back. Why are we even supposed to learn and experience when the nature of such things is also transient. I don't even remember the last time when i had an intelligent conversation with anyone. It has always been materialistic or biased. People are not ready to accept new opinions because the ideologies that they hold are way too firm to be shaken no matter how hollow and shallow the grounds might be. Most people i meet are sadists who love hurting. Thank God that if anyone asks me ' When was the last time you made someone smile? ', i will be able to tell them ' today' and i make an effort each day to keep my answer constant. Now obviously that does not mean i will try to make any random person smile even after they try to hurt me and so huge is the number that I am sure more than five people reading this blog will think that this line was meant for them. You see i am one of those people who doesn't think that it is necessary to hurt people in return. Because that is never a solution and is not wise either. I try to avoid and grow out of it. Because when the pollution is inside the heart of another person, why should it even bother me? Recently, something happened that completely shook me. Why? Because i was labelled something which i was not because i used words which were hugely misinterpreted. A normal conversation definitely helped to sort out things but that made a change somewhere in the friendship that i shared with that person. Not just that. I think it completely changed my idea about the concept of friendship. Mind you people, now a days even the purest of bonds come with terms and conditions. Or maybe we expect more from the wrong people. Sometimes mistakes are not easily forgiven. But noone told me that my life is going to be easy. It is a part of that experience too. I learned that people take favours and forget. That one reason is enough for some to forget all the good that they had received. But i also learned that it does not mean that every other person will turn out to be like this. I just have to be careful so that later when i meet good people in my life , they are not deprived from the good things of a friendship just because someday i had some bad experience. And last but not the least i would urge all my readers to see the lyrics of the song ' Californication '. It is currently in my top five. And to readers who asked me my mail address- it is kamalika.mitra43@gmail.com. You are free to send me messages. I shall reply .
Now what exactly brings me back to my blog? A normal conversation with one of the students of class ten. And as i went along with the conversation i felt that only if our school had a counselling cell for both the students and the teachers. Anyway. Let us get on then. The peace of the surroundings prevail but there is restlessness inside the mind as always. Every night i go to sleep, the thought that I WILL DIE SOMEDAY comes to me. We do so many things but all of it is temporary. Surviving is important but why? Can't we just stop the thinking, the pain, the struggles- just everything. All of it is supposed to end anyway, is not it? I am spiritually thirsty. I am tired. And it is not the kind of tired that we can get rid off. It is curiosity and the death of it at the same time. It is a painful awareness of situations i cannot alter. It is about people who are not understanding and co-operative. It is about God who never answers back. Why are we even supposed to learn and experience when the nature of such things is also transient. I don't even remember the last time when i had an intelligent conversation with anyone. It has always been materialistic or biased. People are not ready to accept new opinions because the ideologies that they hold are way too firm to be shaken no matter how hollow and shallow the grounds might be. Most people i meet are sadists who love hurting. Thank God that if anyone asks me ' When was the last time you made someone smile? ', i will be able to tell them ' today' and i make an effort each day to keep my answer constant. Now obviously that does not mean i will try to make any random person smile even after they try to hurt me and so huge is the number that I am sure more than five people reading this blog will think that this line was meant for them. You see i am one of those people who doesn't think that it is necessary to hurt people in return. Because that is never a solution and is not wise either. I try to avoid and grow out of it. Because when the pollution is inside the heart of another person, why should it even bother me? Recently, something happened that completely shook me. Why? Because i was labelled something which i was not because i used words which were hugely misinterpreted. A normal conversation definitely helped to sort out things but that made a change somewhere in the friendship that i shared with that person. Not just that. I think it completely changed my idea about the concept of friendship. Mind you people, now a days even the purest of bonds come with terms and conditions. Or maybe we expect more from the wrong people. Sometimes mistakes are not easily forgiven. But noone told me that my life is going to be easy. It is a part of that experience too. I learned that people take favours and forget. That one reason is enough for some to forget all the good that they had received. But i also learned that it does not mean that every other person will turn out to be like this. I just have to be careful so that later when i meet good people in my life , they are not deprived from the good things of a friendship just because someday i had some bad experience. And last but not the least i would urge all my readers to see the lyrics of the song ' Californication '. It is currently in my top five. And to readers who asked me my mail address- it is kamalika.mitra43@gmail.com. You are free to send me messages. I shall reply .
Comments
Post a Comment