Done for today

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Well, well. I am pretty excited to write today since this is my first blog post from my personal laptop. I finally got one. A few days back I received my scholarship that i once applied for , around two years back and i wasted no time in getting myself a laptop. I have always dreamt about this super cozy winter night when i will be blogging using my own stuff. It feels really great. So this year three dreams came true [ and i thank God for that ]. I always wanted to get a job before completing my education and always wanted to work outside my state. That happened. I wanted to board an airplane [ my first ride ] along with my mother with my own money. That happened. I got my own laptop now. I also completed my masters. That makes it four. Don't know why should I forget the last one. Today was a day filled with surprises. I got three things delivered to my address all at once. The best being a Harry Potter kit. It was a gift. It had a Gryffindor school bag, a Hogwarts purse, a memento of Hogwarts, a super cool key ring of Slytherin and the best ofcourse was a notepad with Hagrid's photo on top of it. Remember me musing on some previous post about how i badly wanted a good diary for myself. Well i got one. I already wonder how would things work out for me both inside my mind and outside with my limbs and everything that is visible , if i were to truly visit some of the best places in London just because Potter was filmed there. I will go crazy.  Little unexpected gifts makes you happy especially if it is from people who matter a lot and also if it is about or on something you are completely obsessed about. There are so many things that fills my mind everyday and stays there temporarily unless it is somewhat important. For example I have realized after a week of hard thinking that i will no more rush with my education. I have been a hard worker throughout and i did what had to be done  so far. I have been rushing a lot lately. And it seems like I have missed on a few good things in life. But it is never too late. And I am just in my early twenties and I need to see, feel and comprehend things for me now that i have a little independence. I am learning everyday from my students and colleagues. And it is more than what my bookish stuffs can teach me. Now that obviously will not stop me from reading books because i am an addict. It might just slow down my pace a little, which it already has. That is okay. I am also seeing and pondering over family matters because each time i open my newsfeed I see someone or the other is getting married. Most of them being my classmates. And then when they convey that their marriage was arranged it makes me think more. How can marriages be at all arranged? How can someone spend their life with someone they have never properly talked with? Someone they have not known. How does this concept of arrange marriage even work out and yet I have seen my parents and others share a long lasting relation and seen many love marriages not last for more than two years and vice versa. I am certain about one thing. And that is that I will have to make a decision while I am still in my twenties about this marriage stuff. I know he is the right person but is he? I do have the right to entertain myself with doubts. I mean why should not I? Will my man listen to all that i have to share with him at the end of the day. Everything related to my work and life? Will he give me that time everyday while i will try hard to not kill him by my cooked food? Or will he just go to sleep? Will he share the same kind of spiritual awareness like me or will be too dependent on pleasures that are temporary. Will he be like a very good friend guiding me and helping me all along or just leave me to figure out things myself. Do I have an extremely perfect picture about a man or do i really deserve it? Told you, it is complicated.The worst part in life is always about making a choice. Go right or go left. Otherwise you remain as a no man's land. Then comes career. I have already made a choice here. I will not rush. I will allow things to sink in deep inside unless something drastically different happens that will bring be back to my hard life. Money- o no! This stuff is sensitive. Work and money are complementary stuffs and that is where and how my decisions might change about my previous choice , sooner or later. And then there are a few other things that I want to do before i am 28 and things that i cannot share here. Yes if you are smiling you caught me. Maybe. I am not all perfect after all. And Flaws are important to make your life interesting while you narrate it as a story to your grandchildren. Done for today.

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