Where is all the meaning?

-
Tagore once said Kadambari Devi, " Tumi thakleo, ami eka " ( Despite having you, I am lonely ). Exactly what I feel very often. Surrounded by people, but there is this hollowness. It is empty. Talking about things that hardly matter. Because there is simply noone to talk with if you REALLY want to talk. Engaging in trifles because one got to live anyway. I am not even tired. I think it is something beyond that. The gusto is missing. It feels horribly empty. No amount of anything makes me happy. The more I read about God, the more it puzzles me. Makes me angry. But one usually gets angry on things that has some existence. I don't even know who I am being so angry on? If it is God, where is he? He is not calming me down. But the thought that he won't eventually calms me down. When I see families on road walking happily, i wonder how? So temporary it is but one probably has to accept dois particular phase in a lifetime. Where does all these rules come from? Why do we have to? Why do we have to keep on with this illusion knowing that it is an illusion? I wish I could just stop pretending that life is okay as if it is life's business to be okay ,all the time. After all life can never be okay because it always takes us towards something that hardly has any definition.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kadambari Devi's Suicide note

-
A few days back i finished reading 'Kadambari Devi's Suicide note',by Ranjan Banerjee and though it struck odd notes in many places(my opinion),it definitely falls into the category of the must read books,especially if you want to explore Tagore's world.Most intellectuals or want to be intellectuals, appreciate Tagore for his modern outlook,but appreciating the modern aspects of a character or mind is vastly different from experiencing it first hand,and the process can be painful,like a morbid pleasure,it can be so addictive,that one does not want to come out of it, rather can't come out of it.This is exactly what happened with Kadambari Devi.A dilemma she was in because she was sapiosexual and was in love with her husband's brother,ROBI(Rabindranath Tagore).She was an exceptional talent but failed to realize it not just because of the environment that surrounded her but also because she loved Tagore with all her dreams and not just her life.An exceptionally unc...
Read more

The hoho and the hehe

-
Now there you guys, do you even know that that you need your Aadhar card for paid sex in Goa. Hohoho. There is nothing called private in our lives anymore and anyway I wonder, why do they need the Aadhar card for that? How can things become more legal and politically correct, when there are obvious loopholes in the system. The second thing that I would like to share today is that recently i have started following someones blog. And what I have discovered from the writing of that person is that, both of us have a similar view and attitude towards the outside world. We had had similar experiences in the past too. This world is way too small and I admire women who have such broad perspectives. HOPING sincerely for a new chain of communication to blossom. Yours sincere admirer.Hehe ;)
Read more

Outlet to the triggers

-
Image
 Lately and coincidentally, people from different backgrounds and places, have been asking me if I am okay with being alone ? Some even ask me how do I manage it because they want such a lifestyle for themselves. While few others look at me with speculative eyes and think that I fake the happiness and the indifferent attitude, towards almost everything. (other than my career, of course)  Now! Do I like being alone all the time? Does it add to my loneliness? I like being alone. I think I am able to breath from a higher place of authentic energy as long as I am alone. I am creative. So I end up channelising my energy into creating something.Mostly it's my writing via which I express myself but all writings are not meant for my blog. I paint too. I absolutely like organising things. Now does it make me lonely? Yes, it does. There are times when I feel so, so lonely and the past comes back to haunt me in a million little ways. And surprisingly there is no way out. And so I allow m...
Read more