Retrospective

Last to last Monday our professor tried to explain in context of some poem of how we connect ourselves to characters mainly protagonists of a novel or a film or a play. And from what I gathered from her opinions, it was more like connecting more towards female characters if one is a woman, and likewise male characters if one is a man. I remember her giving the class the example of 'Pride and Prejudice.' She said that ' did not we all feel like Elizabeth Bennet while reading the book.' Some nodded in favour of an yes from what I remember. But mine was a clear no. I connected more with Mr. Darcy right from the beginning and that took me back to the end of my second year days when I had just started writing my blog and I clearly remember dedicating one blog post to the character 'Mr. Darcy' of ' Pride and Prejudice' and discussing on how I so identified with the character. So many years have passed and I still feel the same way. Seriously, sometimes when I look back I wonder of all the things that I have gained and lost in the past few years. Of how closer and aware of my identity I am or how certain things in my life still remain the same. I am still choosy about who I talk to or want to be friends with, avoid people as much as I can, keep it private most of the times, still worry about real money, still find myself less arrogant and rude than most others, laugh at people of my own age and even older who believe in the wOrd "revenge", still whimsical and complex and narcissistic with a twist because I care very less about my health, still. I am still in company with my anger but yes a lot of trying had helped me swallow a little of this bitchy emotion but things are not drastically different, I must say. I still am the nerd happily trying to convince others that I am not but then happily accepting openly that I am. I depend on my world of fiction more than anything for my emotional stability and nothing gives me more happiness. I am still the best friend of those few people who believe that I am hard to crack but once I do, i can give away my life for them ( okay life was too much, i agree- narcissistic attitude is okay, i guess), still am a kid at heart ready to burst when needed and an adult at the same time advicing and suggesting juniors, seniors, colleagues alike, still lazy with most things classic, still an insomniac and if there is anything beyond the last stage of Imsomnia, I am there. I am mostly the same person, but with a changed mindset which I owe to different surprises and shocks that life threw on my path and I have accepted all of them, if not always with joy and eagerness.