I am sad but blessed

-
Someone asked me if I feel sad. If i retrospect the past few months, the answer will be yes. But more than being sad I find this situation challenging. Everybody has to encounter this reality. I did it earlier in my life and I believe God knew that I will be able to take it and so now. Conditions are as worse as it can be, but when I think deeply I find consolation in my thoughts. For example, many people my age have a father, but still they are sad. Because they don't share a firm bonding with their father. I was never in such a place. In that way I was blessed and I can die with all those happy memories I have with my father. Situation wise, I am sad now but in the long run I will be okay because my father is always in my mind boasting about my achievements. What more? I will never get over this incident but that will just make me more human. I am more a family oriented woman and why to be so ashamed of that? That is my choice. Is not it? My career means nothing without them because I am not so ungrateful to not acknowledge what they have done for me so far and are still contributing to the adamant roots, more emotionally and mentally. That makes me feel blessed. I am still working, if not adroitly, then patiently. I am being tested to my limits and I believe there is definitely a reason and a purpose behind that. Let's see what the future holds. And not many people like me, belonging to a middle class family that too in a place like West Bengal gets the PRIVILEGE to take responsibility of their family at such an early age. I feel blessed again. When I meet people who are willing to help me in this journey, I gratefully accept their help. That does not make me small. Sometimes I even ask for help and that does not make me dependent. I understand when they can't with no grudges against them. To experience the feeling of wanting and also not getting, is in itself a blessing because I will know later when I face an adversity, how to make things work out. To not have my best friend beside me, is tough. But to hear his voice once in a while is a blessed joy. I know for sure where I stand, and I also know I am not alone in this journey. It has been three years since I started with my blog, and my reason behind naming this blog seems so justified now. And as I never forget to remind myself, " Things could have been worse". I am sad, but blessed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kadambari Devi's Suicide note

-
A few days back i finished reading 'Kadambari Devi's Suicide note',by Ranjan Banerjee and though it struck odd notes in many places(my opinion),it definitely falls into the category of the must read books,especially if you want to explore Tagore's world.Most intellectuals or want to be intellectuals, appreciate Tagore for his modern outlook,but appreciating the modern aspects of a character or mind is vastly different from experiencing it first hand,and the process can be painful,like a morbid pleasure,it can be so addictive,that one does not want to come out of it, rather can't come out of it.This is exactly what happened with Kadambari Devi.A dilemma she was in because she was sapiosexual and was in love with her husband's brother,ROBI(Rabindranath Tagore).She was an exceptional talent but failed to realize it not just because of the environment that surrounded her but also because she loved Tagore with all her dreams and not just her life.An exceptionally unc...
Read more

The hoho and the hehe

-
Now there you guys, do you even know that that you need your Aadhar card for paid sex in Goa. Hohoho. There is nothing called private in our lives anymore and anyway I wonder, why do they need the Aadhar card for that? How can things become more legal and politically correct, when there are obvious loopholes in the system. The second thing that I would like to share today is that recently i have started following someones blog. And what I have discovered from the writing of that person is that, both of us have a similar view and attitude towards the outside world. We had had similar experiences in the past too. This world is way too small and I admire women who have such broad perspectives. HOPING sincerely for a new chain of communication to blossom. Yours sincere admirer.Hehe ;)
Read more

Outlet to the triggers

-
Image
 Lately and coincidentally, people from different backgrounds and places, have been asking me if I am okay with being alone ? Some even ask me how do I manage it because they want such a lifestyle for themselves. While few others look at me with speculative eyes and think that I fake the happiness and the indifferent attitude, towards almost everything. (other than my career, of course)  Now! Do I like being alone all the time? Does it add to my loneliness? I like being alone. I think I am able to breath from a higher place of authentic energy as long as I am alone. I am creative. So I end up channelising my energy into creating something.Mostly it's my writing via which I express myself but all writings are not meant for my blog. I paint too. I absolutely like organising things. Now does it make me lonely? Yes, it does. There are times when I feel so, so lonely and the past comes back to haunt me in a million little ways. And surprisingly there is no way out. And so I allow m...
Read more