Daylight

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I almost gave up writing. If i say due to the lack of the availability of time, I know i will be lying. Amidst the pandemic, i did have some free time but instead i spent it on Netflix and reading books. I engaged myself in a little research of my own. However, i had other things suddenly come on my way and i got busier. Even now when i write this i have plenty of official work pending. That's the gist of it basically. I wanted to grow and be more productive one year back. And today i simply have too much of work and I have learned so many important things. Goes without saying that human nature is always on the top of my list. It never fails to amaze me...sometimes my own temperament takes me by surprise. If there is any word that  has shaped up my life in the past one year is the word ' improvise'. I had faced challenges in ways i can't explain...whether morally, or emotionally or physically. I have never said no to any work and that has drained energy from every aspect of my living and at the same time, it had helped me grow. Loneliness is a steadfast thing in my life and in the past one year i have also learned that i do not want anyone in my life- friends or otherwise, who add nothing in my life. I detest insecurities, selfishness more than anything. And about people trying to curb my freedom- I am sorry that i had to give up on you. I still love some of my old friends. The only difference is that i don't like them anymore. I have better dreams and hopes to cling on to than trying to convince people that '' this is right, that is wrong. '' My mother is hellbound on getting me married in the next three or four years. Had it been a year back, this would have led to a quarrel with her. But now, i simply tell her with a smile that i am looking for quality relationship and if that means that i will have to sort of wait for the next ten years, i don't mind. The world has so many important things outside marriage after all. My mom thinks i am too careeristic and ambitious. My colleagues think  that i have read too many books and have set my standards high for a man. I must say all of them are absolutely right. But somewhere i have faith. That reminds me that i am still a terrible cook. Rest in peace my future self and my future partner...The life changing factor so far has been my ability to gladly accept losses ...if not with a smile, then with an understanding that ' life is not a fairytale '. It is raging outside and for a person like me it is a perfect opportunity to write something... So i will end with a few lines ...


                                      To the crowded place in my heart
                                      We have always raced against currents that made us weak
                                      We smiled when we were tired 
                                      We smiled when we did not speak.
                                      To the crowded place in my heart-
                                       We choked together when it was heavy
                                        We drowned  together when it was shady
                                        To the crowded place in my heart-
                                        We shall dance together when its time again
                                         For we have never left each others side in rain
                                         We shall see the sun again
                                          For this shall pass 
                                          and there is so much more to gain.
                                       
                                       
                                     
                                     
                                   


                                     

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