Thinking and Reflecting

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Well, well...my fascination for Gopal or Lord Krishna is increasing day by day. My desire to keep a mud made Gopal is increasing too. My mother tells me not to overreact about it but damn it, I want a sweet cute 'Gopal' for me. Religion demands a lot of care and concern for a 'gopal' if one wants to keep it at home and worship it. May God help me resist my temptation for it.Sigh. On the other hand, it worries me to see my mother becoming hyperactive. I mean, she was never the lazy sort of housewife busy watching television serials and instructing housekeepers, but now she has become more than active in whatever she does. If that is her way of forgetting what had hit our family in the recent past, I am okay with it. And if not, then as I said, I am worried. My schedule is active too. Recently there is this thing that happened with me. I remember it was my birthday and a classmate of mine I usually talk with not only not wish me verbally, but behaved rudely with me on my birthday and even after that. It was probably on account of something I must have told her that offended her. Now whether I felt bad about what she did? Yes, I did feel bad. But on a second thought I realized that a person who can hurt you on your birthday, and that too in the same year when you had lost your father, is either someone lacking maturity and is a jealous person, or was never a well wisher or a friend for that matter. Atleast my basic sense of humanity won't allow me to do that, if I were in her shoes. Now this entire thing was very childish and what I observed later was that she was enjoying what she had done because I was obviously showing my pissed off face at her and she wanted to see my pissed off face. I have wasted too much time on it, I guess. Was not this supposed to be a teenage girl issue and since it is not completely a very girly issue either, I think I have the right to write and discuss about it in my blog at an age like that of mine. So, I have taken a decision. That is to not look back on such foul creatures anymore. To them their childish revenge means everything. It should not have bothered me because I have seen their lot in the past and it won't be surprising if I happen to see them in my future too. But atleast I know now- what is good for me and what is not. I am not looking back for I know, I have NOT lost a friend.

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