learning and growing

Every time I see someone's bald head shining in the sun, or a little ball like cute nose with its head shining I am reminded of you Babu. Sometimes when I suddenly see my reflection somewhere I think your spirit is with me. But it is just my sagged cheeks and a pasted forehead, that I got from you. True that you have made my breathing in and out a little difficult, but then all your life you raised me like a fighter too, and so it is okay with me, even when it is not. I remember you telling me once that " always remember your favourite fictional characters will be there with you, when you need them." Thank god, they always are. But I am waiting for the big miracle to happen and I have faith that someday it will. Miss you.

I cannot think about Dean Winchester without thinking about Jensen Ackles. So, here it goes. Since I am literally studying the character Dean Winchester, I think something just struck me hard, really hard about him. Dean's sexual orientation. And guess what or who made it worse? Ackles himself, by banning questions related to Dean's sexual orientation. I am new when it comes to " Supernatural" , but I can gurantee I know a lot more than many fans already. So here is my question. Why is that Ackles find the " gay" topic so uncomfortable. And banning questions? Why would you do that? It broke my heart a little to see that Ackles isn't really an LGBTQ supporter, but tries to pose one, lightly on social media. You can't stop the audience to interpret relations on screen the way they want to. And the fandom that the show has is as much attributed to the homoerotic subtext as to the hunting game. Ackles shoud be more sporting towards it, after all Dean Win...

1) Why do all starving Americans go after Burgers and all starving Koreans go after noodles? Why does starving Indians continue to starve? 2) To have someone of the stature of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle write about " Lot 249" is utterly, utterly unbelievable. I am still recovering. 3) Why do some people publicly claim to have more than 2000 pageviews of their blog when it is not even 200, and that too declare something like that on Facebook? Why? It is a sin.You simply waste the time of people like me who tend to think you actually write sense. 4) When a person tells you to trust them because they don't do liquor. I will say, don't use the word trust. Damn it man. I might not be Sherlock Holmes but from the shade of your lips and from your eyes I can tell, what you are upto. It is no sin. Just so you know it. And then you get to hear the kiddish crap " I thought you will think I am not a good company for you". Dude, get a life. What are you? And where are you? ...

Books and Books and Books. I told myself " give me a break" and after a few hours I returned back to my books again. Gosh- What has life come to? I mean it Kamalika, get some rest. P.S- I just got hold of some of my old writings. And I am really shocked. I was more human when I was younger. Sigh.

What does it mean to be a fan ? I don't know. " Fanatic"- well I do. But many of us admire a lot of celebrities who are professionals in different fields. So when you meet someone who ask you to name one person, it becomes very difficult to answer. Usually in such cases I tell them a name that is my current favourite. For now, it is Jensen Ackles. I like the character he plays on television, I like his wit and humor. I like his intake on things and from the thousand interviews that I have seen, I can make out Jensen is an emotional person too but tries hard to be strong on the surface. I can share some more facts and figures about him, but it is available to all of us in Google. But then recently someone texted me, " You talk about him so much, you must be a big fan." Well hell yes- I am not just a fan, a freaking fan of Ackles if that is what you want to hear. And as a fan/ admirer I am expected to know things about him. As I said, I am a ' freaking' fa...

SO, I got the Deb Kumar Gupta memorial prize for getting a first class and also for securing the highest marks in English M.A-1( this is a just show-off guys). But I will tell you what makes this so special. It is sponsored by a lady in memory of her father. A lady I look up to. Our very own P.G ma'am. In fact she was very humble in letting me send her my own list of books. The first book in the list was Bhagavad Gita. I remember telling her that this book meant a lot to me and that I would be really happy if I get this.I am grateful to P.G ma'am (again), that my request was kept, along with most other books which I had mentioned in the list. My father gifted me a GITA when I was in class 8. He asked me to take it seriously when I was in class 11 and was turning into an atheist. But it has changed me in ways I can't explain. I am not an atheist anymore. If I am religious today, I know it is my choice, a choice that my father helped me to make, making me realize how wrong I ...

I was asked and questioned if I had learned anything other than endless chapters in my life so far. Yes I have. I have learned to smile within six months ( today is exactly six months) of a great personal loss. Each time I utter the word ' babu ', I know my limitations and I also know my dreams. I know who I am. I know who I can be. I know what I don't want to be. And yes, this is a lifetime lesson. P.S- Not all my endless chapters were boring.