learning and growing

What does it mean to be a fan ? I don't know. " Fanatic"- well I do. But many of us admire a lot of celebrities who are professionals in different fields. So when you meet someone who ask you to name one person, it becomes very difficult to answer. Usually in such cases I tell them a name that is my current favourite. For now, it is Jensen Ackles. I like the character he plays on television, I like his wit and humor. I like his intake on things and from the thousand interviews that I have seen, I can make out Jensen is an emotional person too but tries hard to be strong on the surface. I can share some more facts and figures about him, but it is available to all of us in Google. But then recently someone texted me, " You talk about him so much, you must be a big fan." Well hell yes- I am not just a fan, a freaking fan of Ackles if that is what you want to hear. And as a fan/ admirer I am expected to know things about him. As I said, I am a ' freaking' fa...

SO, I got the Deb Kumar Gupta memorial prize for getting a first class and also for securing the highest marks in English M.A-1( this is a just show-off guys). But I will tell you what makes this so special. It is sponsored by a lady in memory of her father. A lady I look up to. Our very own P.G ma'am. In fact she was very humble in letting me send her my own list of books. The first book in the list was Bhagavad Gita. I remember telling her that this book meant a lot to me and that I would be really happy if I get this.I am grateful to P.G ma'am (again), that my request was kept, along with most other books which I had mentioned in the list. My father gifted me a GITA when I was in class 8. He asked me to take it seriously when I was in class 11 and was turning into an atheist. But it has changed me in ways I can't explain. I am not an atheist anymore. If I am religious today, I know it is my choice, a choice that my father helped me to make, making me realize how wrong I ...

I was asked and questioned if I had learned anything other than endless chapters in my life so far. Yes I have. I have learned to smile within six months ( today is exactly six months) of a great personal loss. Each time I utter the word ' babu ', I know my limitations and I also know my dreams. I know who I am. I know who I can be. I know what I don't want to be. And yes, this is a lifetime lesson. P.S- Not all my endless chapters were boring.

I just realized I have not written in some time. The last few days I couldn't rest, couldn't sleep and to top it all I started watching a television series that hardly is going to leave me any sooner, I guess. But I don't want to start fangirling here. I will tell you two things that had hit my mind like a realization in the past two days. One is what I am going to do after my post graduation? My mother told me to not think about it at all and take a break for a year. I have been thinking on this same lines. If I don't find anything desirable, I will take a break and I guess it is long due. I am in no big hurry, I suppose. I am a bit disillusioned too, with my present college and my situation. I don't want to study for certificates or merit cards any more. I guess I have done that enough and I want peace. I would rather study exactly things that I like. Two is, I have been wondering as to why I am unsocial, most of the times. I just wanted to make sure, that I am in...

Points recollected (Phase 4)- 1) Sympathy is the worst kind of emotion. 2) Avoid rigidity in every sphere of life. 3) Discipline is important. 4) Punctuality is important. 5) There is nothing called right or wrong. 6) Inspiring lives are puzzling. 7) Not all good actions bear good results. You have to live and move on, anyway. 8) Blind ambition is dangerous. 9) It is hard to find a friend. 10) Fiction can make you an addict. (Open to interpretations)

Points recollected (phase 3)- 1) Sadists are common to find. They try to annoy you because they can't change the truth. So, let it be. 2)Nostalgia is expensive now a days. 3) You cannot be a dreamer and be afraid of the mess your heart will make 4) You cannot avoid a ' bangal', 'ghoti' controversy, if you are born a bong. And it doesn't matter whether you like it or not. 5) If you are an LGBT supporter people automatically assume that you belong to one of these categories. Never mind because. The protest is anyway against this sort of mentality. 6) Beautifying your skin is a choice, and not beautifying is a choice too. 7) Not all ambitious people want to settle abroad. 8) Not all clever minds are good. 9) Not all wicked activities have wicked motives. 10) Silence is sometimes the strongest protest.

Points recollected (phase 2): 1) Judging is mandatory to form opinions. 2) Anger, pride and gluttony should not be counted within the deadly sins. And also my paper on Greek Tragedy taught me how baseless the Gods themselves were, when it came to Lust. But it is a sin, still. 3) Intelligent people make mistakes too. 4) Insecurity is a common form of jealousy found in all creatures. 5) Competition is a foul word, sometimes. 6) Do not try to define success for others. 7) Make yourself the privileged one and don't count on miracles for that. 8) The best paths often come with the worst stones and pebbles. But that does make it any less desirable. 9) People can think differently, but that does not mean that they don't think at all. 10) Love is an illusion. But you got to live with it anyway. So why not concretely define it by your own standards?