learning and growing

 I was late for the sunset So I wrote this poem; It's a peaceful evening  Or so it seems- Near the borders, I'm afraid It's dusky, dusty, fiery and grim.  The terror of terrors can't measure the ache Of lives,whose innocence  They crumble and break!  The unflinching cruelty of powers entwine To create a horrifying chime.  Who will respond to the laws of time that fade?  The earth shattering screech of the pandemonium is hellishly sacred...  Rusty randomness of my thoughts,  Artists the carelessness of my habits and tongue The randevous of happy imagination and fated outcome.  So I come to see the sunset,  To look for an answer that lies beyond In its absence I take my pen and write the words that pierce through And ME they taunt...

Your memories are fleeting like a dream; As if they never existed!  Can see your face in remote rags...  Wanting to be touched and get wasted.  You will not find me in the day busyness of your business Or in the quiet whispers of your silently screaming solitude,  But you might just find me- In the choking regret of your Innocence A once existing gratitude.

Pretty late again. Still the same human with more superfluous, exciting, disgusting, futile, worthy,obnoxious, healthy, lasting experiences. Yes all of the above and the summation definitely makes me feel older and more of an existentialist than what I was, I believe.More spiritual too and the rising consciousness about the supreme, definitely makes me feel more humble, grateful and inquisitive to say the least. Isn't it intriguing that he is the sub microscopic arena as well  the galactic space. He is the energy that's beyond the Matrix. He is the energy that balances the Matrix. He is the energy that keeps entities, objects,universes, spaces intact. How perfect is the creator to also lie beyond all perfections and to generously bring the world to what the 'Yug' is waiting for; an end and a new beginning, an establishment of dharma, order, righteousness. That brings me to the fact that in the past few months I have been lucky enough to go and explore 'Deogarh, Jhar...

Doing this in order to get rid of nothingness. It would be great to get views, likes and subscribers on my YouTube channel.  Also, I think I will continue making these videos for myself on YouTube. Best part is that there is no storage problem as such on YouTube. Or is there? I don't know. I shall keep on editing and posting, till I get lazy and bored.  I am not there on Facebook or Instagram. I don't share on WhatsApp either. I am too shy to do that. So you see, I am posting the links of the four videos that I have uploaded only yesterday, here in my blog.  https://youtube.com/shorts/qqP7j5XBzmQ?si=GIHfolYJwRDICkag https://youtube.com/shorts/6ARJfa_C9_Q?si=qxXkxzIKs7NviO1- https://youtube.com/shorts/JQ0EzlvIXo0?si=noDXi8mSTaQF9OhR https://youtu.be/DcDV1q-LGMw?si=HQjxJnokRLCldrxM

This summer, mom and I went to Shantiniketan, Bolpur. It's two hours from my hometown. I had to plan, book, sort things out beforehand because I had other plans and work to complete. So I booked a homestay for two days. Boarded a bus and reached Bolpur at around 1:30pm. From the Bolpur bus junction we took a Toto to our homestay. It cost us Rs60. Then  we requested the Toto owner to show us the whole place for the next two days. I had eight places in my mind for this two days trip. That afternoon, mom and I, were given a welcome drink. We had lunch in the homestay, a comfortable afternoon nap in the AC  and woke up at around five in the evening and got ready for our first day trip to Konkali tola. Konkali tola is not in Bolpur. It is situated near Bolpur and is one of the 51 Shaktipeeths in India. The Toto driver came at around 5:15pm and we reached there around 6pm. The place was comfortably less populated than the other Shaktipeeths. I think it's because it's less known a...

 Lately and coincidentally, people from different backgrounds and places, have been asking me if I am okay with being alone ? Some even ask me how do I manage it because they want such a lifestyle for themselves. While few others look at me with speculative eyes and think that I fake the happiness and the indifferent attitude, towards almost everything. (other than my career, of course)  Now! Do I like being alone all the time? Does it add to my loneliness? I like being alone. I think I am able to breath from a higher place of authentic energy as long as I am alone. I am creative. So I end up channelising my energy into creating something.Mostly it's my writing via which I express myself but all writings are not meant for my blog. I paint too. I absolutely like organising things. Now does it make me lonely? Yes, it does. There are times when I feel so, so lonely and the past comes back to haunt me in a million little ways. And surprisingly there is no way out. And so I allow m...