learning and growing

Kolkata became a completely new place to me this past one week. Not for one moment I had the bliss of experiencing relief. The motive was to get all the things done, as in all the possible things from writing different letters to the superhuman task of getting all of them signed by our college authority. Things that could have been all done and settled in a matter of two hours took two entire days. Participating in competitions and seminars at such a disruptive juncture of my life felt like an immense challenge. But I had to do it, because I wanted to. Getting involved in politics that was never meant for me was a source of displeasure to many who thought I was rather enjoying it. Come on now, I am not an attention seeker! And to top it all, some brains could not get away with the recently published post graduation results and never failed to remind me that there were no first classes in our previous batch (do I even care!). And suddenly when things started getting normal, Kolkata sta...

And soon it is going to be one month, since my father died. The bad memory still remains very fresh in my mind. And I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. Life has been too real and harsh, this past one month. I survived my many firsts in many places, with some hesitation and embarrassment, of course. It is even difficult to look at my mother sometimes. She has become the kind of woman, I always feared. I cannot even describe properly why I feel that way. A significant part of her life is missing and gone, and she too is trying to fight it out the hard way. May God help her. May God help us. Amidst all this, there were little patches of sunshine too. But the war is not over yet, and my armour is yet to shine.