learning and growing

So a lot had happened.I lost my father on the 13th of August 2017. He had a massive cardiac failure inside our bathroom and we had to break the door of our toilet to get him out. The moment he was taken out of the bathroom and was made to lie down on bed, I knew he was no more. His lips had a blueish-ness, and so did the tips of his fingers. He was all cold. But I wanted the doctor to certify it medically and hence I asked others to help me lift my father inside the ambulance. I went alone with him to the hospital and came alone with him. The world was distraught. Once my father was brought back home, it became difficult to control my mother from sobbing badly. I did everything I could to keep her calm when I was not okay myself. Even I was crying hard, only silently. I badly wanted the tears to show up but it did not. I too wanted to cry aloud like my mother, but nothing happened. Then my father was taken to the morgue and kept there for the night. I could not close my eyelids that ni...